A Random Rendering in early fall 2012
Still there, haven’t quite moved on,
Lingering, malingering, waiting in mid step.
Feel the air around you move, just the slightest breath,
Held in, held back keep your emotions in check.
A longing and littering of your soul,
limitless anticipation of the things you wish to behold.
Loves first kiss, hands held in the twilight,
a passionate moment that felt so right.
Swimming in circles against a strong tide,
knowing that not knowing is itself a surprise.
Wondering, thinking, searching for the new,
finding and enjoying all the things that are you.
Escaping in thought on long summer nights,
rushing to get them down in word out of inner sight.
Bemused by the results, hushed by the cadence,
that your words resonate with others as you write the latest.
Do they know how hard you work on each twisted line,
struggle for wit and the occasional rhyme.
It really doesn’t matter because you try not to write for others,
just to reach deep and get the words or scene about two lovers.
Finding it hard to not write late into the night air,
others depend on you to be alert, bright and always there.
Sacrifice the muse from time to time,
hoping always that your words when you don’t are sublime.
Dreams Broken, Sadness Unspoken
When we first met there was so much promise
Your humor among many things we had in common
Lately it seems that fire’s died out and we’re drifting apart
You’ve never disclosed what your heart truly feels
I just need to know that you’re in love with me head over heels
I still want flowers, passion and romance
Walking hand in hand along the white sand
I’ve never stopped dreaming of any of that.
You’ve said you love me but your actions don’t express it
When I press you for more to please be specific
You simply ignore me or tell me quit it
You’ve already said expressions of passion aren’t your thing
But what can be wrong in telling me why
My simple chaste kiss leaves you tongue tied.
Our courtship was open ended the wedding so rushed
All romantic ideas and notions rudely crushed.
All these things I knew that I wanted have long since been forgotten.
When was it that things became so rotten?
Perhaps it was when I finally realized
that all of my dreams were not meant to be
I’ll never get flowers or go to the beach
Your eyes will never tell me what your heart
feels when sitting next to me.
Now that I reflect on the time that has gone by
Is it time to part ways and say goodbye
Some days I want to quit and at the same time
My spirit pleads and implores that I stay and commit.
Up until now these things that I miss never mattered to me
But I realize now not everything is happy
No matter how much I want it to be.
As I lay here realizing these dreams are now broken
I cry deep inside while outside the sadness I hold remains unspoken.
Paths to summer’s End summer 2012
The dark shadows of tall trees fall across the path before you,
it plunges you into the dark away from sun light bright.
Carry the brightness with you into the struggle of the night.
The shadows now, invade plaguing and pulling you.
Stay on the path, only very slightly left or right
Strive for the middle, protect that which you hold dear
Endeavor to remain who you are and have no fear
Hold the thoughts in your head and seek the light.
The secrets you keep even from yourself define you.
They are held dear and close to ones chest
Never to be revealed, treasured, or loathed but renewed
The secrets within in you that make you, you.
A Starry Night summer night 2012
Have you looked at the stars tonight
the light of distant suns filtering through to you?
The worlds around them may be long gone
has the star itself long since collapsed on itself
You’ve just yet to see it
you are looking into the past.
Yet it is your moment, this moment
is your star bright enough to be seen by them?
Has your sun’s existence been prolonged and bright enough
for them to wonder at its brilliance.
A want and a dream for yourself perhaps
are your fleeting starlight or a nova bright?
A Random Rendering, A fleeting moment
Nation of Tears July 4th 2012
Have you watched the child cry beside her?
The child is hungry its belly distended tears flowing as you move on.
You look away, can’t help still stuck in some other moment.
Something that is all important to you forcing you not to hear.
She is still there, still hungry crying to be fed.
You have moved onward the crying infant still in pain.
What is it that you find so compelling that you have no heart?
A whispering softly of your own failed attempts at dreams.
The child still hungers the child within you.
To do the good you can do and not look away.
Yet you stumble forward when the money in your pocket
could ease even one child’s pain.
That is the sure sign of your failure, wrapped in your own sullenness,
the few cents you deny those who are without.
You are better than this, we as a people are better, we as a nation,
We the People, We, We, WE.
For July 4th 2012, Give of yourself
Questioning Summer 2012
Should one celebrate life or death, beginnings or endings?
If offered a chance to start over or end well which would the option be.
To re-experience the pain that it took to get where you are now
or finish what you have left in a style and fulfillment you think deserved?
A question for both the young, the old, the middle aged.
A quandary of feelings, better decisions could be made but random outcomes remain.
You would not have the knowledge gained from missteps and errors
but also not the pain and anguish that were their bane.
Would your passions be the same should you start over?
That on which your life revolves might not even exist in the future alternate.
Looking back upon the years I would choose to go forward.
My scars and wrinkles earned by fire and struggle never ending.
Would you sacrifice the first moment your eye met theirs
For a chance to mend the broken years?
Sacrifice last night’s passion and throes
for crisp clean sheets and the morning alone.
A Random Rendering could it be called heart or head, I think Relentless is correct.
A Friend Walking in the Sunshine Last day of Spring 2012
Go forward down the path to the trees by the lake
Letting the sun shine upon you face.
Remembering always on cloudy days
the sun still shines above them then just a moment take.
Take it to shine brightly, show your talent this day
it will burn through the clouds and mists around you.
Even those who don’t know your worth
will be taken with the way you light the way.
The wind will blow through your hair from the sea
eyes without tears will stare out into the distance.
Your desires and dreams may yet come true
you will be everything it is you want to be.
A doodle, a meandering through evening.
Breeze and Attitude January 2012
Wind and rain wash across the bluff it cleans the air, but chills my blood.
Pulsing, pushing, struggling to keep out of the cold and keep my heart warm.
It’s more than that, no cold heart for the future, stay in the moment, struggle, and struggle forward. Looking deeper, hardening in despair but with hope, find the spark to stay with it, to not be subdued.
Top of the bluff, not a breeze now but a full blown gale, bow you head into its force the last steps.
Keep your eyes down, wind and sand creating tears, but maybe they are from deeper, is it regret?
Then a sudden rush of sadness, of being alone, just thee and thy thoughts, easier to fight the wind than your fear.
Push on back below the bluff, rain whipping in every gap in your clothes, the roar of the wind louder than the surf.
Why are you here and what did you accomplish, the struggle was for the journey itself, a beginning without end.
The well-deserved inner calm will not come, harden the heart again, move against the wind, continue the trek.
If placed in your hand the prize would seem small, wrestled from the world it yours to cherish and give.
Freely won you may then pass it on to those who will benefit most from it, a victory in itself, now to do it not alone.
A reflection on inner struggle and benevolence.
Winter on my knees Mid Winter 2011
On my knees, the snow builds upon my shoulders
The winter deep upon the land, my brow furls, not here, not here.
I see the white beach and your blonde hair falling across those tan shoulders.
The trade winds rustle your hair, to be there, to be there.
The wind is bitter and rushes across my face,
my moustache freezes stiff, icing up, lips cold, not here, not here.
The sun hot and radiant beats down upon my face,
I’m clean shaven, basking in your glow, your soft lips upon mine, please let me be there, to be there.
Struggling to stand, hands shoved in the snow, the numbness floods my fingers,
burning cold, sizzling in pain, not here, not here.
Hear the crash of the surf, my hand runs through your hair, tresses slip through my fingers.
My hands roam across your shoulders, need to be there, always there.
The last of my strength ebbs, battle over, fall on my face,
Cheeks and nose freezing, my eyes flutter, not here, not here
Your hands on each cheek, cradling my face.
Drowning in your eyes, my lips crushed against your lips, must be there, nowhere else to go.
Wavering in turmoil, crushed by want
Shadows of Twilight 6/19/2012 version
In the shadows of twilight the temperature plummets,
The radiant warm glow of the sun upon my upturned face no longer.
A cold night begins, it will seep into my bones and carry me forward.
So many things left undone in the sunlight, passions, wonders, questions.
All left cold as the night comes on, faster now the last light waning on the horizon.
Lofty goals forgotten, stunned silence as I fumble for the words.
Lost chances and moments that cannot return.
Trying to stay in the present, to see the future bright.
But I keep slipping ever farther into the shadows of twilight
This poem was in Elliptical Threads and edited here the original was from 2/2011
Frosted Window 06/09/2012
A frosted window sits between you and the world
the glass making the colors of spring and summer blur
brown, green, yellow and blue bleeding together
patches of today or tomorrow the passions they should stir.
Why do you stand behind the window
afraid to see it all clearly just the hues
can you embrace the moment and move
outside of the glass and just be you.
But the smeared glass also blurs the pain
the shifting colors and light not so vivid
as to fall upon you face and show you the time
to let it go, to be less rigid.
Does your heart warn you not to open yourself
to the chance that shades of gray will be wiped away
because to do so you will risk the same anguish
that have put you behind the frosted glass today
Inspiration is a fleeting thing grasp it and make it yours if just for a while
For a girl who doesn’t yet know her name.
The wind sweeps across the frozen ground piling the fine wispy snow in little drifts around her trudging feet.
Forward she moves driven by her heart and desires she might let you break her heart if she doesn’t break it herself.
Another step forward then pushing her back but still advancing looking and longing for things she knows she wants, struggling for it.
Move against the wind, a winding path to an inevitable end. A hope, A dream unfinished , keep struggling against the wind.
The dawn will come, the sun will warm your soul
Trading, the Crux of the Matter 05/29/2012
You trade off other peoples hurt and bear it on yourself
It’s the way it’s the method you’ve chosen that which is the way of sacrifice.
To give away your happiness so others will find or keep theirs
Tis neither noble nor wise just necessary and expedient
Wait, watch and listen perhaps the time will come
perhaps you’ll run out time, time will tell, time will heal?
Or your time will end,
either preferable to being here to dwell.
Hurt no one, try not to hurt yourself, cause no harm, dream the dream
It needs to be enough!
This is the crux of the person in question, the defining moment of a moment.
Is possible to break a broken heart
You may crush it more but break it no more.
Once broken it is in pieces and resilant
It still searchs to to be mended even though not possible
The heart wants what the heart wants
It bends now with the winds and the changes
Wanders from light to dark and beats on
Even when full it it may leak now
Bleeding away that which it seeks But finds no way to keep
Through shadow it still finds joy In soft twilight of spring days
Clouds rolling through it
Rains may wash the scars clean
But the scars always remain Another reason not to risk pain
The heart will sit in the shadow and brud
Beating without passions but beating just the same
It blames no one but itself
Finding it’s own faults within
There’s a piece in there just begging to be wriiten.