By Marycelis Pacheco
When did things between us change?
Was it when you stopped looking at me
Like mine was the only face
That you ever wanted to see?
Was that how it all began
That you would disappear for hours on end
To ogle and stare at what you like to swear
Isn’t in reality pornography?
You think that makes me feel great
That my self-esteem isn’t bruised
Haven’t you thought that maybe
That’s why lately I’ve been feeling blue?
What I look like must not be enough
I guess I’m too ugly to hold your interest
All my romantic dreams have been shattered
Brought down in one click
It’s not fair and I just have to know
Why you had to do this?
Tears, sadness, brokenhearted and anger
All jumbled together is not a helpful state
When you have a choice to make
Do I stay and work things out or
Do I just pack my things and go?
After some days of thinking
There is no other option here
Except for a separation
We need some time apart
To figure things out
Please don’t come looking for me
Until after your mind is made up
Either it’s going to be me or
Some stupid fantasy on the LCD.
By Marycelis Pacheco
I’ve been with him together for so long
This relationship is the only one I’ve ever known
Yet how could I have missed the clues
About who he is and what he’s about
I don’t feel loved I’m not sure he even cares
He doesn’t even know me like I want him too
We’ve been together so many years and still
Doesn’t know my order for Chinese takeout
He doesn’t know I like beautiful sunrises and sunsets
I thought I told him all of this when we first met
After all this time he doesn’t have a clue
I like my morning coffee with four sugars not two
It’s enough to make me want to scream and cry
I just scratch my head and keep wondering why
After all this I still remain by his side
It doesn’t make me any less upset
I’m just not sure what to do next
Until I’m sure what I am supposed to do
I’ll sit here and wait hoping one day
He will soon change too.
By Marycelis Pacheco
This is it we’re through
You’ve lied one too many times
For me to be able to simply forgive you
I’ve given you one too many chances
And you just don’t get it
Now I need you to leave
The mere sight of you
Makes my pain overwhelming
If you expect me to change my mind forget it
All your pleas and tears will never undo
This hurt that I currently feel
Maybe one day the pain and sadness will fade
But right now I see no end
To all the tears my eyes have spent
So please just pack your bags and go
This time your apologies are no longer valid anymore.
By Marycelis Pacheco
I know I was warned to stay away
Unfortunately for me it’s easy to say
But much harder to do
I’ve gone so accustomed to our long chats
How can I ever say goodbye to that
I know it may be difficult
For I am under heavy scrutiny
He’s taken to watching everything I do
Even my cell phone has been confiscated too
While it pains me to have behave so secretively
It’s the only way I can think
Not to terminate this innocent friendship
I’ll be careful during our late night talks
My new private email will surely help a lot
We can also email while I’m at work
Nobody watches me there
What I do here doesn’t even warrant a look
Private messages will be another communication
I’m not comfortable being under strict attention
So long as you are willing we can keep this relationship open
Even while my freedom little by little gets broken
In the end it is best that I don’t protest
To have any moment I can with you, it’s no contest
The time has now come for he’s fast asleep
For us to be able to talk somewhat freely
This time with you I treasure the most
On no his eyes fluttered open
No wait he’s turned over, boy that was close
It is now time for me to bid you goodnight
We’ll talk again tomorrow and the day after that
As much as you want to for as long as it lasts.
When I first met you
You weren’t what I expected
But my job was to train you so
I had no choice to but to accept it
To my surprise you picked up everything
That I had taught you
And by day four you did everything on your own
Sometime later we became very good friends
We shared so much we were together always
Partners, sisters and cohorts until the end.
We’re alike in so many ways it amazes me
That we didn’t become fast friends
The moment you your shift began.
Working together for almost three years
Your absence is constantly missed
I can’t even bring myself to take away your name
From the telephone extension employee list
The cruelness behind one’s person’s actions
Is the reason why you’re no longer here.
I sincerely hope one day she is made to pay
Because she shares blame as for why
Through email is how we communicate everyday
Alone and isolated in this place isn’t so great
A friend is always welcome even during the 15 min breaks
Now there’s no one to share the humor in the simplest of tasks
From the craziest phone message to the newest office rumor
Aside from helping my boss appear like he’s knows what he’s doing
There’s nothing worth keeping me here
Now it’s been almost a year and I’m anxious for your return
I’ve missed you so much I don’t think I can take it
If were not working together again next year.
By Marycelis Pacheco
Upon our first meeting some time ago
who could’ve known such happiness would unfold
In such a short time you’ve managed to
know me inside and out
You know the meaning behind
each expression my eyes make
From my goofy grin to my sad pout
aII our talks stretch out into the night
And come morning you’re the first thing on my mind
your humor makes me laugh, your words make me smile
You make me feel things I haven’t felt in a while
time and distance will never undo
This love that I have for you
and now that we are face to face
How I long to be in your warm embrace
you’re everything I have ever dreamed
You’re my real life fairytale prince charming.
As you boldly confess your feelings for me
I inwardly smile for l have finally realized
I am completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy.
For what we share is something that doesn’t happen every day
Yet I still know what we feel will never change
our love is endless and will always stay that way.
By Marycelis Pacheco
I’m so sorry to see you go
My heart breaks inside as I write this prose
Who knows now what my future will be
But I will surely miss you eternally
Our friendship unbeknownst to me was closely monitored
All our emails unfortunately discovered
A hidden meaning was presumed and
Now I’m being forced to say farewell to you
But I sincerely don’t want to
I’d prefer to sit here and cry
For why can’t I have this one new friend?
I’m not hurting anyone I think
He has now turned angry
I can see the jealous fury deep within
I hope he doesn’t take it out on me
He’s never done that before so no fears
Perhaps I’m overthinking as I lay here in tears
In any event with severe and utmost regret I part
But know that what we’ve shared will always live in my heart.
By Marycelis Pacheco and SOK
Night falls softly upon my tired head,
in my mind the day that was clear as the stars in the sky.
I should be tired but a moment of wonder strikes in me instead,
Hoping that the feeling from within me will never fly.
The day was normal nothing standing out on the paths I was led,
But still a day I treasure and wonder at with a sigh.
For that’s the day I have finally realized what I’ve
guarded deep within and all that I long for will soon materialize
A smile passes my lips because although I’m not
supposed to know after an elaborate evening you will propose
How can I adequately describe our courtship so filled
with flowers and romance and long walks together in the sand
Your laugh, your gaze the unbridled passion in your gaze
how can it be that everything I feel you feel the same
The time now draws near for my prince charming will soon be here
My horse and carriage are ready oh dear my legs are unsteady
Anticipation, excitement and nervousness jumbled together
make me let out the sigh I’m holding deep inside
What a marvelous ending my fairytale will be
for me and my real life Mr. Darcy.
A SAD GOODBYEBy Marycelis Pacheco with SlightlyOffKey
You left without saying goodbye
Was it because of what I said that it’s me you now despise?
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that the romance had died
you can’t tell me you didn’t see it in my eyes.
I keep replaying the scene over in my head
can’t help but regret how everything came to an end.
Now I’m feeling upset, sad, and lonely, just needing to know.
Will you ever speak to me again or ever need me so?
Did I reveal too much, do you feel betrayed or even angry?
Why oh why did things end the way that they did
I should leave things as they are, just let you go,
how could I have known that your departure would make me feel so low?
I miss you already even though you’ve not been gone long
my heart aches after having made this huge wrong.
Now that things are officially over I can only hope
eventually you will forgive this evil thing that I’ve done and cope
You should know I now bear such a deep scar,
from missing everything that makes you who you are
What will you doBy Marycelis Pacheco
What will you do if I told you I loved you?
Will you turn away and not reply or
Will you wholeheartedly return the sentiment?
I would not be surprised for I feel the same
Just merely been biding my time waiting for the perfect day
What will you say then if I told you
my heart beats faster everytime you walk by
Will you delay your stay and come closer to feel
or Will you be like the others who inch away, day by day until finally gone
I’d smile and say that I must stroll near you
Every moment I can so as to hear the cadence that appears when I am near you
Never would I do that, why would your thoughts go that way
Who were those fools that would hurt you in that manner
What will you do if I confessed that I dream of a future together you and I
Romance and sharing and laughter for all time
Will you end things and break my heart so
Why would you even think that?
Instead these palms would grasp your sweet face so our eyes connect as I say to you
Have more sureness in what I feel
When have I given you cause to feel that way my dear?
What will you do, if I declared these things I hold deep inside
Would you despise them or me for voicing them so freely
Certainly not, not you or what you feel nor would I walk away or even ignore them
Just merely look into those big dazzling eyes and show you with my heart
and my kiss that you are mine continuously and permanently.
When we break apart and the moment has ended
Your kiss, your touch, your gaze has finally given me the courage
To verbally express what my heart has long safeguarded
A knowing smile crosses my lips as I turn to you and say
You have taken my breath completely away
You my love are a dream come true and in my heart will always remain that way
A NEW DAYBy Marycelis Pacheco
As daylight’s yellow light inches up my window my eyes flutter and open
For a new day you have made and have included me in it
My eyes peer out the glass at the portrait how marvelous to behold
The breathtaking sights, sounds and wonder the world surrounds
My first thoughts are about you today which is the best way to start
Increasingly thankful that I am conscious at all
Your love is kindness to me and also a daily reminder
That you are not just a figment nor an indifferent bystander
Beautiful, wonderful, glorious and marvelous are not enough praise
To express what this heart feels with such awe and amaze
Almost immediately my thoughts turn inward and right now I must humbly confess
How I have been slacking lax and slightly ambivalent in my daily supplications
You are worthy and deserve much more than what I have thus far delivered
My apologies I sincerely appeal for you are assuredly worth much more than that
You have given me life, hope and an everlasting future which I can never repay
A constant reminder that I must surely behave as you have urged and commanded
As I think back and remember your words and your promise
That you see right through to my heart and my thoughts I am given solace
And I can’t help but ponder why this faith has been doubted in such fashion
Then as I gaze out at the skylight above the sun’s rays having reached its brightest
Your vows to me I recall concerning disclosure and plead for forgiveness
My eyes close as I let out the breath I’ve been holding
And proudly accede a clean slate has been written for me
What’s past is past and a new day awaits including a pledge for immense things ahead
Here’s to something awesome that started with one big bang
A new show on TV that’s different and unlike what we’ve seen
About Leonard and Penny joined by Howard and Bernadette
Now here’s Sheldon who knows what he plans to say next
Along comes Raj whom to women he can’t even speak
Without first having a cocktail perhaps a strawberry daiquiri
There’s physics and math Soft Kitty too and even some cats
Plus Schrodinger’s and that’s a real science fact
From an experiment that was done long ago
A cat in box with toxic poison who knows what will unfold
But in order to know for sure what the hypothesis proves
The box you must first open it’s a paradox you see
Either the cat’s alive or that’s one dead tabby
Amazingly popular and even several Primetime Emmy nods
Who knows when it will be canceled this show is the greatest by far
There’s something for everyone from comics to romance
And now there’s no logical way to end this here stance.
When you have a moment why not tune in your TV
You might even see my favorite scenes from season four
That you just can’t ignore.
It was when Leonard’s girlfriend Priya shrewdly dissected
The Roommate Agreement Sheldon had long since perfected.
He was then invited to come tag along with Amy, Bernie and Penny
In no time at all the girls are drunk and get all carazy
and by night’s end Amy’s memories get a little bit hazy.
There was waltzing and salsa a smoking monkey too
And you have Amy tell Sheldon to not meekly surrender to them there rules.
So for now I must bid you adieu as I prepare to view today’s show on CBS east coast channel 2
It’s the pilot where Leonard meets Penny his heart’s greatest desire
Oh Leonard you think she’ll give you a chance by letting her use your shower?
A blinding brilliance invades my eyes to look into yours,
Wonder, compassion and compulsion running free.
Your smile, your gaze, even the lift of your brow
Makes this heart flutter about.
Despite of all this I can clearly behold
The way your eyes shine when you look at her
Will there ever come a time when you’ll look at me that way?
Her beauty and poise has consumed your attention
During our meetings your thoughts in deep meditation.
While I sadly look on grateful that I have some measure of your concentration.
Dare I say it, dare I confess, what this heart deeply protects?
Perhaps I should not for our friendship means too much for that.
What if she finds out she’ll despise me for sure
Sisters don’t betray sisters no matter who for.
So for now I’ll guard my secret far deep inside
As I await patiently for these feelings to die.
Within the womb you were created
Your purpose already having been slated.
Your thoughts and your dreams are never hidden from me
For my gaze penetrates beyond what the mere eye can see.
I made you to prosper, love one another and to fight for mortality
To have temperance, patience and self-control
Never letting hate or anger over take your whole.
Remember me always, daily keep me in your thoughts
Never forgetting that your stay in this world is merely temporary
And there will come a time when I will appear to summon you back.
This poem is a thank you to a new dear friend
Who I began chatting with one day simply by coincidence.
I was tired and bored from watching Big Bang in syndication
When on the internet I saw a forum reserved for Fan Fiction.
I took a quick glance and was instantly entranced
With every single fic that I glanced.
Then one day I noticed a title “Elliptical Threads”
I just hoped my dear heart wouldn’t be turned into shreds.
The subject said it was about Leonard in the year 2024
Since he’s my favorite character I thought I’d give it a go.
Sometime thereafter I couldn’t put my phone down
Even when my eyelids were closing and the battery died out.
By the time I had read the last chapter I was weeping and bawling
And finally had to accede no more forestalling he’s owed review
For all these emotions Slightly of Key had put me through.
After days of proofreading and much hesitation I typed
My long winded comment satisfied it wouldn’t even matter
So I immersed myself more in this fiction forum
and posting reviews so much that my fingers were sore.
It was then Slightly Off Key began a new Big Bang Theory project
Winding Road it was titled arranged like a Season 6
I thought I should give it a try at least for some kicks.
It’s amazingly written and well thought out I’m still not sure why
These Big Bang writers have passed his work by.
It was after a comment on this new latest thread when I see
A private message, a new PM from Slightly Off Key.
Only this time I finally typed back a quick reply how
I still watch the show’s greatest moments that feature Leonard and Penny.
We email each other several times a day and now with his help
I’m writing so many poems that his blog has on display.
Now I’m finally home from a long day at work
Typing a new private message to my buddy “Slightly Off Key”.
He has since responded and I should be asleep
But I don’t really want to start counting sheep.
After one hundred emails having been sent back and forth
I regretfully depart as my eyelids are strained and I’m yawning a lot.
Our long chats have been varied from Tunes to TV
He’ll even share new chapters from his thread about Webb and Kacey.
It’s now two weeks later and who could’ve foreseen that a new friendship
Would’ve grown out of a silly comment left on a FanFiction forum.
And now as you see this poem must end
All about my new mentor and interesting friend.
During the twilight of night in a secret gathering,
You were shamefully betrayed by your brother and friend.
At some time after midnight you were apprehended
Just as you always foretold and predicted.
For blasphemy you were charged proclaiming yourself God
It was not long at all before a judgment was called.
You’re then brought before Pilate as well as King Herod
False testimony already having been taken, your face even slapped
A crown of thorns on your head and a scarlet robe covered your back.
Despite no clear crime being committed
A ruling was made and a final verdict given.
Having been found guilty of all charges presented
The crowds shouted that you be crucified to all those in attendance.
In spite of all this you did not once object
Like a lamb to the slaughter this punishment you did freely accept.
The reason is simple and not hard to forget
For you already knew punishment for the world’s sin had to be met.
Man’s relationship with the Father was broken and damaged
Sin was too endless and yearly sacrifices unholy and blemished.
As kinsman redeemer your shed blood was required
In order for sin to be absolved and our souls be acquired.
After the punishment had ended and your body lay broken
It was then laid to rest in a tomb with a stone covered opening.
Three days later something marvelous occurred
The stone had been rolled over and an empty sepulcher was seen
From your grave you have risen a sign that must be believed.
You’re presently seated at the right hand of the Father
Where you reign as King known as I AM
Before you were born I already knew
the name I had chosen for you.
You were like a big dream come true
One which I feared would never be real.
Though you were planned from the start
Prayer and medication had to play a bit part.
But that will never change that I know deep within
You’re destined for far greater things than I ever did.
10 fingers, 10 toes a head full of black hair
You’re the biggest miracle I ever knew I had to take care.
I vowed right then and there as God’s gift from above
You are the first thing I have to think of.
Every day I swear to do everything in my power to do
To tell you Jared how much Mommy loves you.
You’ll grow up loving God and going to church
Even when you’re off to college so far abroad
But for now while you’re still young I’ll do all that I can
To show you I love you until I meet my end.