Where are the disclaimers?


These are all disclaimers written for ET in order, all the chapters have had them removed as I moved them to this blog from FanFiction. I did enjoy writing them sometimes they were a great warm up for the work that day. I also have removed extended footer information as well.  These disclaimers remain largely unedited from the originals versions.  A reminder that most of these were tongue in cheek and meant to get a chuckle or engage my reader about the chapter to come. SOK

These are in chapter order, each set of lines was for a specific chapter.

Thanks for the characters, plot lines, and other goodies TBBT, it’s all yours. But the rest is mine all mine, MOO, HA – HA – HA, Glory be to Cow.

Disclaimer, disclaimer, you know the drill, see prior chapter if you have any questions.

Consider yourself disclaimed,

This is an official disclaimer of the prior disclaimer, reiterating what was in the prior, prior disclaimer. If I failed to cover anything in that disclaimer then forgive my thoughtless behavior.

There once was disclaimer from Algiers, he was sorry and said through the tears. I used them only in good spirit, with no intention to inherit, and to give all the folks at TBBT the credit.

Disclaimer, yeah whatever, need to drink on it. See some other chapter

So I could take up time to come up with a snappy disclaimer. To let everyone know that this piece of fiction based on TBBT characters is for enjoyment only of the readers and the writer in creating it. I could find some odd way of doing that, but it’s too late tonight, so screw it. Oh, and Sam, Tish, Lisel belonga to me
(Note: Sorry this chapter contains no sex, just innuendo, not my style of writing, I’m a tease)

Disclaimer kind of, I own Liisa, Lisel, Sam, Tish, Einstein, Leaky but no one can own a cat so Schrodinger belongs to himself. The rest were developed and created by TBBT. My hat’s off to you but I’m going to play with them for a while longer.

See the prior chapter for disclaimers, and that entire BS. I should say something about TBBT being a wonderful sitcom, it is. In fact the only show I don’t just DVR and watch later. It’s going to be a long hiatus. Don’t mess with LP, get them together, ratings don’t lie. Beside we all figure Kaley will kick you in the nuts if you break them up again. Nuf said

Welcome to the official Chapter 10 Disclaimer, should this condom break it is no fault of Trojan or any subsidiaries or some little kid in Indonesia. Oops sorry wrong disclaimer, I’m sure condoms must have one and a lawyer somewhere is very proud of it. Okay what belongs to me is mine. I’m just borrowing yours with no commercial interest. Sup.

I should disclaimer this, but I’m too ambivalent about the entire disclaimerer thing. It’s all mine I say, mine, mine, mine. Anyone who says otherwise is a no good #$$%cker, sorry my fingers slipped and the shift key got stuck. You get the idea. See some prior chapter when I wasn’t trying to be witty and boorish.

I’ll write a disclaimer soon, I promise. This chapter may not even need one. Wandering aimlessly in the dark in search of Scotch, stubbing toe, cursing moderately, my mood is soothed by the tiger striped kitty that has jumped in my lap. See some other chapter for other stuff.

I’m sitting here on my upstairs deck tonight with a whiskey, cigar and the most gorgeous stars in the night sky. Last of the snow is gone, swept away by the sunshine today. I Love Oregon. It’s supposed to snow on Tuesday, brief Love affair. Consider this the disclaimer, thinking of you.

Okay time for a real disclaimer, I don’t own The Big Bang Theory the TV show. Happy now? Here’s your sign, and I don’t own Bill Engvall either. I’m listening to October by Bluebird so if this starts out sad it’s her fault. Blame Kaley it’s her sister.

This is from the iPad so I’ll have to clean it up, I’m not disclaiming Apple, just everybody else, but auto-dis-correct is driving me insane. I have a client meeting tonight so I need to get this part out of me. I should warn you this chapter might be a little disturbing.

The snows falling again, maybe we’ll finally get a snow day tomorrow. It was 68 degrees and sunny on Sunday. It’s actually a little depressing today. Miss the sunshine, perhaps another day. Shall we see what Leonard and Penny end up doing today? Consider this the disclaimer, if you got this far you know what I mean.

The automatic disclaimer function seems to broken. Tish where the hell is that disclaimer, Tish? Tish has blue screened, Howard should have never sold it to Microsoft. If he had sold it to Apple it would just misspell things. Consider this disclaimed.

Hoc est eunuchorum Quisque enim TBBT. There that should take care of that. It’s 70 degrees, snowing on Tuesday and now 70 degrees. I’m opening a well-chilled bottle of 2008 Puligny-Montrechet Chardonnay. Batards are too expensive now, though Leonard has told me the 2023 may be a vintage of the decade.

Disclaimer of all ownership except what’s mine as determined by someone who really is rather disinterested and paid very well for being so. I’m also pretty sure when it’s sunny and 70 in March on my upstairs deck the neighbor should be enjoined from using the damn leaf blower. He usually waits for early mornings on the weekend. Okay ear buds in, iTunes cranked up ready, set, write.

Please see the disclaimer from Chapter 4 or 5, one of those was pretty good. Yeah 5 play on a dirty limerick that one. You can only be so creative at 2:00 AM. When I laid my head down this opening scene came to me.

This is to state that everything that might be construed to be from tbbt is and belongs to them folks over dare. All of da rest of the stuff belonged to me, mine and four dogs, three cats and whatever keeps making that noise in the garage. Really I have no clue what it might be but it scares the crap out of me. Really BIG spider? I’ll just keep parking on the outside for a while.

My first disclaimer of the day was rather philosophical so this here is the second whack at it. All the stuff contained in this work of fiction based on any TV show, movie, cartoon, comic book, novel, short story, painting, general rumor, specific rumor, long winded answer, brief morning exchange or similar sharing of an idea, character, location, joke, skit, school play, ink blot tests etc. that did not come out of the authors head belongs to them. Be warned many times the authors head is rather a jumble of misleading thoughts, ramblings, memories and the like so it’s possible that he lost his train of thought during this entire disclaimer. Still can’t own a cat.

Writing on the iPad today so expect a lot of mis-corrected words that make no since in some clearly odd places but such is the burden of being on the road. Here’s is my well thought out and cogent reasoning behind why I don’t own The Big Bang Theory the TV show not the actual theory that is a fascinating piece of thought based on a classic argument of what was before the big bang. The chicken or the egg dilemma set to classical Looney Tunes credits music. Wow I really slipped there maybe I just should start writing the chapter, oh and I don’t own Looney Tunes.

To enable me to write a much better and more reasonable disclaimer for each chapter I’ve got the new Big Book of Disclaimers 2 it’s available at The NobleAmazon bookstore owned by a remarkably tall and very muscular woman. Let’s see here, disclaimers for hitting you neighbor with his leaf blower, erectile dysfunction therapy, what the hell is anal leakage. Declaimers for game shows, movies, shorts, cartoons, here we go sitcoms about geniuses and waitresses wanting to be actresses. This one looks better, using this toothpaste as a lubricant may result in foaming in unwanted places. Let’s go with that one. (Please note I did not say what was being lubricated, anywhere you go with this is up to you.) There I even disclaimed the disclaimer. My work is now complete

I have just received a cease and desist order from the American Disclaimers Association for making fun of the obnoxiously obvious disclaimers that come with your everyday items that some brain surgeon in Accounting and Legal in his wisdom thinks by including it will indemnify them from making a poorly designed piece of crap that has removed your pinky toe. Hopefully my neighbor owns just such a device that he will try to use on Saturday so I can sleep in until 6:30 on Sunday. Really? This disclaimer should say something like: Though we find the characters of TBBT to resonate with us your fans. We also know it’s impossible to develop the full emotional, intellectual and range of these characters in 24 to 25 twenty minutes episodes per season shared between 7 characters. Therefore we endeavor to do that for you, making people happy, sad, laugh, cry, and angry about that development. Should we wish to actually profit from them we would change their names. This would be the adventures of Floyd and Edna rather that Leonard and Penny. More than Nuf said.

Disclaimer: I really can’t do a lot better than the last chapter or two. I’ve been writing different things today so no immediate warm up is really required. Of course this work of fiction is based on another work of fiction called “The Big Bang Theory”. Which we are all waiting to return after the NCAA BB tournament is over. My beloved Blue Devils went in the first round so I have moved on to Michigan State. Money can now not possibly be recouped to quote Sheldon “Drat”. In all things take care, in all cares be gentle.

Snowing steadily now. After trudging through it for hours today it’s rather pretty at the moment. I hear from my friends it’s raining in Pasadena this week. Geneva is getting rain also. Perhaps the entire world is getting wet today. The one I’m writing is going to get sunshine everywhere today. If you’ve got this far you know that we’re not claiming to have any affiliation, financial or otherwise with TBBT. That’s not to say that it would be rejected if offered. Are we ready? Inventory, laptop, cup of Irish breakfast tea, music Colbie Calait’s Breakthrough album, NCAA tournament muted on the big screen, big old yellow dog. Yep let’s go.

Let’s see what kind of disclaimer should I write today? I’m on my iPad again waiting for my partners for lunch at the golf course today. Out on the deck in the sunshine even though its 34 degrees today. The snow has melted off everything but the foothills and mountains. My waitress thinks I’m an idiot she’s probably right. Hold on she has blonde hair, green eyes about 5’6 about 26 seems like somebody familiar. I wonder if she ever worked at a Cheesecake Factory. Of course I still only own what’s mine and would never dream of owning what belongs to others. Scheme and plan perhaps but never dream.

I missed the usual lunch today at our favorite bistro, the weekly wine lunch. I may be a little more clear headed than normal, really not a good thing. So comme d’habitude still don’t own anything new except any constructs that have appeared in the story that have nothing to do with TBBT. It should be pretty clear by now we are WAY removed from that storyline. Comme d’habitude ? As usual.

I’m on the road again so the iPad rules the day, though I’ve got the laptop with me also. Left in the sunshine haven’t seen it since except the liquid variety that we’re famous for. Of course Leonard, Penny, Raj and any other TBBT characters I use tonight don’t belong to me. Have you noticed how the cat keeps slipping back into the story? I never plan that it just kind of happens. In Penny’s words “What just happened?” Very odd indeed.

Let’s start with the standard go back a few chapters to find a disclaimer you liked and re-read. Then please laugh, giggle, snort in derision, or smirk. That’s what I do then I think “What the hell was I drinking that day.” Bet you can’t remember when you were 4 years old. Will Lisel, I hope so that’s when she finally got to have two parents. When she’s 5 she’ll have a sibling, then the rivalry can begin. Leonard and Penny thought life was complicated before give it 5 more years, maybe an add on someday.

The disclaimer for today should include that the author is apparently an idiot along with 40 or so companions who waited for a golf course to thaw out to play 18 holes in a cold screaming wind. I really think each time a golf club is in your hands your IQ goes down a least 40 points. I should be thankful for no rain. Enough self-loathing and regret I suppose I have fictional characters to take that out on. Some are my own creations some are characters from The Big Bang Theory. I of course do not own theirs.

What should we talk about today old friend? The relationships between this work of fiction and the show its characters and story lines that were used for its base line. The difference between the people they were then and are now in the piece. I’ve been in analytical mode all day with an emergent problem that still remains unresolved. I finally stepped away from those to start working on this. Maybe peace will come.

Sorry I never had time for a proper disclaimer when I started this last night. We’ll go with something interesting I suppose. I of course have no ownership in TBBT and no wish to or desire to cause them pain, injury, booboos, rug burns, laceration, carpal tunnel, or hurt feelings in any way. Should anything I write cause the above effects I disavow all knowledge of this disclaimer or any other I have written and will blame it on Chuck my alternate personality, and Fred could have got involved also. Yes you Fred, put the knife down Fred. Thank you.

How should I disclaimer thee, let me count the ways . 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34. Or not I’ve actually wrote chapters 35 and 36 back to back so I didn’t need any warm up tonight so it’s after the fact but I’ll try. Everything that isn’t mine really does belong to them. A shout out to Bill Prady who tweeted in French that it was raining cats and dogs. I replied in French, assurez-vous que vous les nourrissez . (Make sure you feed them). Enjoy tonight’s chapter

Emergent problems have been resolved and “the world was once more is spinning in greased grooves.” Twenty points for identifying the author and book. No Google that’s cheating. Let’s see I don’t own any of the characters from the Big Bang Theory TV show. Some very talented people seem to be manipulating them right now so I’ll pass. I will continue to use my avatars of them for your fun and enjoyment or not depending on you. As one of my partners said today, “Perfect just spot on perfection”, I’ll try but I’ll settle for adequate.

Time for the real disclaimer 2nd shot at it: I have contemplated that the ownership of fictional characters played by very accomplished actors is both spurious and without any particular social merit. I shall never the less respect that ownership and claim none for other peoples work. I even take less ownership in my own creations which by sharing them with others and therefore making them publically known I expand their depth and inner workings. In other words I really don’t care hand me the scotch and hold the ice.

Here was the first disclaimer for today, on the road.

Really lost in the fog for a while today but I was pretty close to the ocean, the wrong ocean but the ocean none the less. Let’s see if I can get back on time and track here. I forced myself to get a day ahead so that’s why the early posts. I will probably move this to the aside and write a real opening here in moment, just one more cup of tea at least I started to write something. Even if it’s droll and uninteresting it will get me in the mood. Warming up, thinking of the story getting another cup of tea. Ready set go.

It’s always good to now the title of the chapter before you start usually it means it will write itself. I get a feeling this one may take some time so you’ll have to bear with me. Ut normaliter dicere non dominium importatur seu. Yep that was it I only own what I create, Tantum habent quod creare. If my Latin is any good at all today that should cover all the legal and illegal quandaries that should arise from this trip into fantasy and fiction

The injury caused by an object colliding with you is directly proportional to the injury required to prevent you from doing something you enjoy the next day. A rather silly way to start the disclaimer but it’s my mood. Because I have no direct or indirect ownership, managerial, fiduciary, supervisory, or janitorial relationship with The Big Bang Theory I would never even wish to have any of the above and thus claim none. It should also be noted that I’m sure the feeling is mutual and I would be considered at best a pain in a rather large ass. Me being the pain rather than the ass.

Have you ever wondered what the term “Limited Liability” really means? Is it that you have limited you exposure to being liable for your actions because you stated it? Are you less liable for breaking someone’s heart then? Should your start each new relationship in life with: “This relationship is only available on an as is basis any crushing anguish, bad feelings, or any other emotion that resembles being broken hearted is exclusively the fault the person feeling that way and is not the fault of the other and they are not liable to express remorse or empathy.”? It certainly would give you a clear conscience when it comes to deciding if something isn’t working out. So this is the TBBT disclaimer for tonight should I break TBBT heart it’s their own fault even if it was my intention I told them up front it could happen so I’m without fault. Wonder if this will work on speeding tickets?

A Disclaimer is the denial, refusal, or rejection of a right, power, or responsibility. Okay easy enough I deny the right to refuse the power and reject all responsibility. Wow that felt really good. I suddenly feel much freer now to just do about anything I want to my characters and those of TBBT. Wait a minute I already do that. This disclaimer was a total rip off. I think I’ll write a sharply worded letter to the BDB, (Better Disclaimer Bureau). Then I’ll add them to my enemies list if I can find the floppy drive. I’m adding my iPad to the list too, and Duke University for losing in the first round. Don’t even get me started on the IRS. Oops sorry I didn’t mean that I really do love you guys go Revenue. Oh crap well you get the general idea it’s all one big autocorrect error. Maybe I should just shut up and start writing the chapter.

I’ve wanted to write the mother of all disclaimers but I’m saving that for the last chapter. When will that be? Not sure yet. I haven’t run out of stuff bouncing around in my head yet. I’m in a park today it’s nice, a little cold but the suns out for a bit. If you read the prior disclaimers and not just skipped over them to the Threads, (I really wouldn’t blame you I’m just playing here), they can get rather esoteric or even down right snide. I seem to recall holding myself blameless if I change your opinion or denigrate a TBBT character that you care for. But I will take the credit if you have found more depth to a character that you found rather shallow on the show. I also have a great affection for the current state of the characters on the show. I’m looking forward to writing pieces about the current characters when I take a break from Threads pretty soon. So if I made you sad or mad to bad, if I made you happy or glad well that was my intention also. Enjoy the chapter, oh and if I didn’t own it in the last 42 why would I own it now?

Just got in, still not done for today but in none the less. I should immediately start writing the chapter but I’m still way to wound up. A scotch and a breath of fresh air should do the trick. So I’m working on a piece of fiction tonight using characters that someone else created in a different piece of fiction that in some cases were based on real people and in others total made up figments of their imagination. I’ll call these ghosts. I also have created my own ghosts that I use throughout my story to interact with their ghosts hopefully in at least interesting and thoughtful ways. I guess in the end I mean to say that both sets of characters are make believe so if they feel bad about me using them they should get over it, I have! Mine are available to anyone who wishes to use them. They are of course the owners of the Big Bang Theory. I am just a frustrated writer with an affinity for wine, a touch of scotch and a fine cigar. Not really a threat now am I.

Disclaimer #2 today, I’m saving #1 for a later chapter, it really was turning into a honker. First off I do own stuff, I have a car, oh wait that’s a company lease, house? Nope mortgage on that guy. Three cats? We went through cat ownership already. I have my big Yellow dog, but he’s not exactly an asset I’m sure he consumes his value at his age. So it would be pretty hard to construe that I have any ownership or rights to The Big Bang Theory characters in this story. I do own my education, paid my student loans after they threatened to take it back by lobotomy. I do own an idea or two this one’s called The Elliptical Threads I give it freely to the readers. Use the characters I’ve created your selves if you like. See where they can go. That’s what I’m about to do.

Anyone want to write the Threads for a week or so? It’s easy just think up some odd thing that might happen to your favorite character. Sit down and write an inane but hopefully witty disclaimer like this one. Then write four or five scenes you can see in your mind. Get the length up to about 2000 words. Then look for a bridge to the first scene of the next chapter. Then edit. First clean up all the clunky sentences, add that part you left out, make sense of the part you put in, delete that long winded diatribe that seemed good but sucked. After that you edit it again put in all the missing, an, a, it, its, it’s, I etc, you know all the stuff, that your brain said but fingers forgot to type. Look for the words that should be combined, split the ones that shouldn’t. Read it beginning to end, realize you jumped in time, or that the prior chapter said something else. Fix those things. Proofread it one more time, publish. Have a drink to celebrate your success. I won’t even talk about distractions and never going from beginning to end in one session. Makes me think about what it takes three people to write the 20 minute comedy that is The Big Bang Theory, I salute you and of course it belongs to you. Now that you’ve written the disclaimer your already 250 words ahead on your 2000 plus words a day goal.

Wow what a wonderful day out on the deck. Here’s a shout out to rubyanjel who is up in the wee hours of the morning in Manila reading the entire piece. Did I mention my neighbor has a chicken? I wish he would turn him into nuggets soon apparently he is on Geneva time. He’s quiet now thank goodness. I do have a friendly owl hooting at me from the trees. I try not to write about the current show so I don’t spoil it for those that don’t get it as quickly as we do in the states so if a spoiler sneaks in there it’s unintentional. I am writing this in a post episode 100 time frame that I think finally played in the UK this week. So down to the obvious nope don’t own TBBT characters just like manipulating them and taking them to a different level. I have my ear buds close as I know my neighbor will find something that needs blown, sawn, hacked, mowed or moved with the tractor soon. Ah yes there he is now, mowing the lawn today apparently. I think he needs to cut back on the fertilizer. Dammit there goes the chicken again. Okay ear buds in, todays music starts with Bluebird.

Before I start the silly disclaimer for this chapter I’ll let you know where the Elliptical Threads is heading. I am going to write a part III. This chapter will be a short bridge from Part II to Part III. I’m also going to slow my own pace down a bit. I feel like I’m starting to force it so from now on the chapters may be a little longer but published farther apart than every day. The other thing I want to do is let any of you that wish to write within this future reality the ability to do so. Within the next few days on the blog for this story will appear word documents you can download. The first 2 parts in a master file with all the final edits and a few re-writes you’ve never seen. There are no disclaimers and very few asides. I’ve also taken out a couple of things I had slipped in there to see who would notice. Specifically instead of “Soft Kitty” I had used “Happy Kitty” in homage to the original author of the tune Edith Newlin. I purposefully changed koala face to panda smile. Congratulations to rubyanjel in Manila who caught them both this weekend. The other thing I’ll be posting is the timelines both past and current. Then you can see how age and time progressed since 2012 to 2025 as well where the chapters written fall date wise. Give me little time on this one because it’s all hand written right now. With this information you can take the characters anywhere you’d like. You can write something in the 12 years before the Threads, the current or the future. Please just let people know in the story’s subject that it’s an extension of the Elliptical Threads. If you would like to also publish it on the Blog email it to me. The email address is on the blog. You can also just message me here and I’ll bring it over. If anyone would like to collaborate on a joint piece let me know and we’ll work it out. That said tonight’s chapter has a couple of characters named Leonard and Penny in it. They are characters created and owned by The Big Bang Theory. Lisel and any other characters not from that show belong to all of you. Let’s all have a good time and play nice.

Okay you’ve talked me into writing Part III. This is the beginning of that new set of chapters. To set the time frame for the readers: The last day of Part II was Saturday February 8, 2025. The first day of Part III is September 19, 2025 it’s a pretty special day as you’ll see. I’ll let other people write the travails of Raj and his family and the Coopers moving back to Pasadena. They are there now unpacked and enjoying their relocation but we’ll hear from them later. To be faithful to the past disclaimers which this hasn’t become yet I’ll posit the following question. At what point does something iconic become the property of the public rather than the creators. Sometimes, never, always? Once it’s in the public domain it is changed and construed differently. Such it is becoming with TBBT as it has with their predecessors. From t-shirts to plush toys they have transcended a TV show. It is good to be a nerd or geek like never before because of the show. But the kid out there that gets the physics and excels in math is still struggling with connecting with people. Hug a nerd today they need it. Now back to Friday September 19th 2025. On this day five years before Lisel Penelope Hoftstader was born in Geneva, Switzerland and yes she carries dual citizenship.

I’m watching the rain and snow fall this morning from the golf course Patio. The official name for this weather in Oregon is Slushing. I should point out the extended summer we get in September and October usually makes up for this soggy spring weather, thus the Oregon Duck moniker. Now on to more important stuff, should this story inflame passions, dislikes, or other malefactors out there regardless if they are part of TBBT or just some odd psychopath I haven’t met yet. You have my most sincere and sarcastic abject apologies. Sometimes it’s difficult to try and achieve three goals at once in a story, humor, sweetness and a touch of angst or conflict. Any failure in this regard is mine and mine alone. I should probably just stick to wine tasting notes. This story has deep dark ruby color with a nose of slight discomfort yet the palate shows an overwhelming tendency to romantic justification of a bitter yet firm tannic finish. 92 points drink now or cellar for up to15 years.

The ability to make the right choices, some people must innately have this skill.  Unfortunately the ability to make the wrong choices also may be just as instilled I suppose.  We all have a friend who makes those wrong decisions over and over.  Sometimes it’s just the small things, bad food, ugly clothes, crappy appliances, bad chicken, cheap duct tape, or a stupid hat.  Then there are those who always mess up the big decisions.  The wrong house, the wrong car, breast enlargement, breast reduction, nose job, chin job, butt-tuck, cheek implants, (both high and low), tummy tuck, colored contacts, branding, tattoo on the forehead, that really odd place to be pierced, experimental birth control method, bad boyfriend, ridiculous girlfriend, poor lover, and horrid spouse.  I think I have met people this week that have made all of these choices.  Some at the same time it appears to me.  So please split them up both the large and small then chose one from column A and another from column B.  Put them in the sentence:  Since my (Column A) and because of my (Column B), I cannot possibly own any characters from TBBT.  I think my favorite so far is “new cheek implants” and “cheap duct tape”.  So its build your own disclaimer night.  Add verbs and pronouns as required.

Rained and snowed out of any actual activity today.  I worked instead and after writing boring reports all day long I finally got to do a wine review of a lovely port style dessert wine.  That’s out into the world and to the wine maker so now I can really have a little fun.  Consider the statement the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  The best answer to this is in our three dimensional world it would depend on how high the mountain is between.  The journey is half the battle and sometimes half the fun of getting there.  Writing this piece has been a journey one I didn’t expect to take but has been rewarding in its own perverse way.  Tonight’s chapter is an aspect of the term Moment of Inertia.  The meaning goes something like this if you are going around a corner in your car too fast your moment of inertia may overcome the friction of the tires on the road and you will slide off the cliff.  The moment of momentum is the measurement of the velocity of you going off the cliff.  Contractions during labor can be described using these two physics formulas.  The contraction itself is the moment of inertia because it has happened how much it hurts is moment of momentum.  I think you see where I’m going here or you threw up your hands and moved onto the actual story.  Either way I’m not responsible for any pregnancy on the TBBT show, its characters or subsidiaries that I’m aware of and yes that entire diatribe was to say that giving birth hurts like hell.  Or I could be talking about the interfacing of different dipole marbles within the circle of life.

The purpose of this disclaimer is to let everyone know that I have no clue what I’m going to write about today.  So as I write this I should come up with some tidbit of the story to expand on. That and of course I own none of the characters, nada, zero.  They are like NPC characters in some odd role playing game where you can guess how they may react to some outside stimulus.  Roll the dice, Penny is sad we could do postpartum depression.  I wonder if Raj had that maybe that was his overall problem.  We’ll save that one, roll the dice again ooh snake eyes maybe Beverly should make a return visit.  Maybe I’ll put that at the end of the chapter.   Roll the dice, dammit rolled under that rather large human over there.  Excuse me, yeah sorry it’s stuck to your butt, nope that’s a gummy bear.  Here it is okay boxcars.  That’s what I was looking for no not your butt sorry again.  Hanging out with Howard’s mother can be interesting.

I really should start a disclaimer that will explain some odd non-consequential fact about the chapter title or some interesting theme I’m going to write about in this chapter.  Or I could go for the humor effect find something I find funny expand on it until it becomes imbecilic beyond measure then claim some common Venereal Disease as its cause.  Of course I could always point you to a prior chapter because there is no doubt at some other time I was more creative or thoughtful about the disclaimer.  I guess I’ll go with the odd non-consequential title.  The word modality has many meanings depending on the field or discipline it is being used to describe.  But for Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Hoftstader it’s about logic so here is Sheldon’s definition of Logical Modality: The classification of propositions on the basis of whether they assert or deny the possibility, impossibility, contingency, or necessity of their content.  Now you should think about it for a bit and hold onto it throughout the chapter tonight.  In the end it will all become clear and there will be a quiz at the reunion.

Okay the snappy odd silly and benign disclaimer is going to go here when I think it through.  It will come to me but for now I have something in mind for the chapter so I’ll just start writing that.  Maybe something lovely with no complex calculations and experimentation would be nice.  No long winded explanations of highly obtuse increasingly obscure references that you may or may not get.  But yet are the required ones of my profession to include or you don’t get paid.  Okay all done with the chapter just so were clear not sure what TBBT is was or could be this is some 3rd Rock from the Sun fan fiction really I just changed the names.

You know the weather is bad in Oregon when ducks start committing suicide.  Three of them tried to fly in front of the car today.  They were probably just confused with the road looking like a pond.  After swerving to avoid them and narrowly missing a family of 4 in the other lane it occurs to me the time has come to live the winter and spring months in some other region.  Dammit Malibu here I come.  To accomplish this goal I will need some kind of stake in TBBT or some other hit show.  If anyone is offering now is a good time while I’m in the mood.  Otherwise I have no ownership, interest or any of that falderal.  Always wanted to use that word somewhere might as well be here.

The long weekend begins, no not playing in the 80 degree weather which always seems to appear when I have an onsite project to complete.  Stuck inside in a hurry up and wait mode.  The upside of this is I do have some time to write.  The downside is that I’m going to have to use the iPad today as the laptop is in use.  Bill are you listening I would pay for MS Word that runs on the iPad, I really would.  Let’s see where we are in the tale.  I believe Beverly is in town for a few days to see her newest grandchild and visit her other grandchild and daughter in law.  She’s also here to observe and come to terms with Leonard and their relationship.  The time has come for the realization of plans long ago laid down.  If anyone has ever went down this path before including TBBT I must of course be held blameless because my sociopathic make up won’t permit otherwise.

Sixty chapters who’d have thought this little one shot would go sixty chapters I really do need to reevaluate my use of free time.  Basically an ellipse is the cross section of a cone when cut at an angle.  Like a circle it’s a closed shape with no ends.  There is no beginning and no end just a continuous shape.  Maybe that’s how we got to sixty.  I have no end to the story just of my own involvement there in.  So someday I’ll just stop adding to it.  The Threads part of the title refers to those little pieces of twine that make up rope.  If the entire story is a rope the threads are the little pieces of that story.  Pull out this thread and it’s dramatic, or pull another and it’s funny and touching.  I just keep pulling at those threads and hope the rope doesn’t tighten around my neck and strangle me.  That I don’t write myself into a corner I can’t get out of.  This chapter may pull very hard on one of those threads.  I haven’t really decided yet.  Yep I own everything today, our new company motto, Take over the world then search for new planets.  Ouch bit my tongue must get bigger cheeks.

Last day of good weather tomorrow rain and 55 degrees, someone remind me why I live here.  Oh yeah family, business, partners, and of course the mountains and the ocean.  Just have to put up with being wet 6 months of the year.  It occurred to me that I’d like to sail again a long reach Bahamas to the Dominican.  Yes breeze, waves and dolphins.  White beaches, conch salad, Cuban cigars, Jamaican rum and coffee, Red Stripe beer.  Soon enough I suppose, soon enough.  We’ll test threads tonight how tight can they be stretched before breaking.  Then again I suppose some bonds are unbreakable and timeless.  I owned everything yesterday now it’s just shorts, a t-shirt and sandals.  Don’t own anything else feel free to use them as you would like.

I’ve been on hiatus for a few days needed to stretch the threads in my mind for a while.  I just got an email that Nicole, (WeBuiltthePyramids), has published another chapter of Parental Ambition on Fanfiction.  If you haven’t you should give it a read.  It’s remarkably well done and she is very talented.  If anybody hasn’t figured out the disclaimers are a warm up.  I just write what I’m thinking and let the muse wander a bit.  It’s been a remarkable journey writing this piece.  The ability to keep it going in new or odd directions has been fascinating to me.  But all things come to an end as Beverly has just found out.  Perhaps we’ll go on a little longer but who knows.  One last thought, Macy I miss you where have you gone?  I’m going to post all your reviews and story soon.  That said.  Let’s begin shall we.

I’m still in a hiatus mode I suppose but it was nice rewriting some older work yesterday.  I l also took a couple of days to read, edit and do some rewrites on The Threads.  Those edit and rewrites only appear in the master file which is on the blog.  The blog chapters and Fan Fiction chapters remain unaltered.  But you can download the PDF, iBook and Kindle versions of the master if you’re so inclined.  If you’d like the word document email me from the blog.  It’s rather funny that I’m so taken with TBBT which I have no and wish no ownership of.  It’s funny because I’m really not a big TV person.  I follow something for a little while then move on.  So right now I’m only watching two shows Raising Hope and The Big Bang Theory.  So what are the perils of writing a really long piece of fiction?  You find yourself not reading other fiction.  I do follow a few Fan Fiction pieces.  But I also have six new books siting on the Kindle that are going unread.  It’s also not saying that I’m not reading.  Professionally I devour 300 or more pages of technical stuff every day.  I write somewhere about 5000 words a day.  About 2000 to 3000 of those words are this piece.  Why the long diatribe tonight?  I’m out of whiskey, my golf game today was mediocre, my dog is too old to climb the stairs.  There were highlights, I got spend time with my daughter, play golf, drink a beer, and now I get to work on the story.  I couldn’t be happier, if I only had remembered to buy scotch.

On the road today so using the iPad as well so I predict many odd words within this otherwise benign disclaimer that I’m starting now. Where am I at today?  About 100 miles north of the California border on I-5.  Physically I’m at small park writing instead of eating lunch.  I just need to check on the client then head south.  I figure I’ll get a bite while I’m driving.  Some really healthy food product I’m sure.  Well it will still beat airport food, shudder.  I haven’t actually written a real disclaimer for a while so here goes.  Unless through the untimely passing of some unknown relative I have no interest TBBT, Warner Brothers, CBS, or that bank in Nigeria I’m waiting for the funds to come through from. I haven’t heard from Nigel lately better check my account.  I wonder how he got my name and email.  Oh well nothing ventured nothing gained.  Should I become fabulously rich in the next few hours I’ll buy all my readers a drink.  Until then you’ll have to just be happy with another chapter of this odd and lengthy narrative.

I’m going to start today with a thank you to everyone who has followed the Elliptical Threads on this journey.  It’s now up to other writers out there to add more for now.  I’m actually going to write some non-fan fiction next.  It will be on the blog or I may even start a new one.  I may even continue the threads someday if something comes to me. I’m also going to write some other short fan fiction when the mode strikes me.  I’m sure it will be Leonard and Penny though you never know I’ve grown very fond of Sheldon and Amy in this piece.  This last chapter will be fairly short actually I plan on leaving most things open.  The setting will be simple enough.  Again to all my readers thank you for the gracious and helpful comments throughout this piece.  Now I really should write one last disclaimer. I bear no more responsibility for messing with the characters of TBBT than the actual writers of the series.  My only concern is for the fluidity of the story I hope theirs is also.  In other news the bank in Nigeria has not come through so I’ll have to keep the day job for now.  I’m still out of scotch though my wine consumption has increased.  There is a differential there but I leave the white board at work most days. 

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